SSWC09 Declaration of Riptasticness!
The results are official, and Radical Ross Schnell is the new SS WORLD CHAMPION! Ross finished the impossibly impossible course of radical impossibility in a whopping sixtyish seconds and blurtyfive minutes!
“I couldn’t have done without the help of my spirit guide, Terry Bradshaw,” said Rad.
Here are the results in the men’s category:
1. Rad Ross Schnell
2. Chi Chi Rodriguez
3. JORDAN (Jordan was seriously ripping today, even while battling a stomach flu).
In the women’s category, there was some fantastic SS battle action, with reports of at least six knock-em-out drag-em-down catfights on the course. The meanest lady of all, Heather Irmiger, crossed the finish line with blood under her fingernails and a string of freshly assembled teeth around her neck.
Official SSWC09 Women’s Results:
1. Heather Irmiger
2. Harriet Tubman (not the fastest girl, but she had some serious secret shortcuts assembled).
3. Jacquie Phelan